Saturday, May 24, 2014

Book club June 1, chapters 1-4

Ok, friends, here we go!

Disclaimer - I'm not exactly sure what I'm doing here, but I think it will be fun and interesting, so here goes. 

 I'm going to mention my favorite parts of the first four chapters and then post suggested questions from Melanie. 

Page 6, (referring to the registration process when you pick out all the things you think you need before you get married) "'re selecting things for the life you think you are going to live, when in reality there is no way to know what life will really entail." Amen to that, Sister! 

Page 26, "My other talent is committing to things that seem like a great idea at the time and regretting it later." Oh, yes, I have learned a few lessons with this one. 

Pages 32-33, when she writes about Perry coming back to the car with a plastic grocery sack, and the next day "he made the walk of shame in his wrinkled rented tuxedo." I laugh every single time I read this. 

1. In Chapter 1, Melanie mentions that she’d always envisioned a Christmas wedding but ended up getting married in August. How did your own wedding day differ from what you thought it might be?  To tell you the truth, I don't remember spending a lot of time imagining my wedding. I do know that I wanted it to be different than everyone else's. I saw pictures of a wedding with cream colored bridesmaids dresses and I knew I wanted mine like that, too. That was not something I had seen before where we lived and people (including my mother) thought that was a crazy idea. I also wanted our wedding to be personal but didn't really know what that would look like. Our pre-marital counselor suggested we each write a letter to our parents and have them read as part of our ceremony. We took his advice and it added a beautiful element to our wedding day. 

2. Have you seen ways in your own life that marriage tends to amplify whatever insecurities you have? Have you looked for your husband or job or anything to complete you in some way? I learned the hard way that Jay is not meant to completely fulfill me. Jesus Christ alone can do that. I had expectations of Jay making me happy all the time. I set myself up for disappointment and I set him up for defeat. Thankfully, through great counsel, we weathered that storm and came out on the other side stronger than before. 

3. Do you remember the first time you met your spouse? What stands out in your mind? The first time I saw Jay, he was playing volleyball with my brother, Tommy. Jay had on purple shorts. I remember that he had braces on his teeth, he was a great volleyball player and he had great legs. Basically I thought, "He. Is. Hot." But out of my league. 

Post your answers in the comments. It will be interesting to see all our different answers. 


  1. My favorite parts:

    Intro – We’re in this thing “not just for better or for worse, but for better AND worse.” Pastor Marshall said the same thing today.

    Chapter 2, p. 14 – When her friend said all she really wanted to do is be a wife and mother, Melanie was surprised she said it out loud, because aren’t we supposed to act like we aspire to be “important businesswomen who speak Japanese and wears suits?”

    Chapter 2, p. 20 – On singleness: “I wish I would have embraced it more instead of wishing it away.” And, “We’re all waiting on something no matter where we are in life.”

    Chapter 3 – Because I got married in the same era, I love her wedding description, and how weddings were simpler in those pre-Pinterest days. Amen!

    Chapter 4 – Hilarious descriptions of early marriage: Shocked to learn he doesn’t like to read, she cries on the couch for a week over Princess Di, she regrets setting the bar for 3 hot meals a day.

    I get a kick out of her TV & movie character references, and how she imagines what great friends she’d be with certain ones! (I do this.. think Elaine Benes.)

    1) I also didn’t spend a lot of time imagining my wedding. I knew I wanted a more “fun” reception than cake and punch in the church basement, and I got it. :)
    2) I’m with Niki on this one. I’m sure that early on, I expected Michael to make me “happy” all the time.
    3) First time I met Michael, he struck me as friendly and always smiling, and had nice, broad shoulders. He was dating another girl in our church singles dept at the time, so at first meeting I didn’t put thought into liking him “in that way.”

    1. Lori, I liked that part on pg 14 also, and I distinctly remember the crazy looks I got when I voiced that out loud as a college freshman.
      I laughed when I read about her realizing that Perry did not like to read. THAT would be a bummer to me, too.
      SO glad you are reading along.

  2. Favorite parts:
    page 23 (ebook) "...we are in this thing together for the rest of our lives--not just for better or worse, but for better AND worse." [This is just a reminder for me that it isn't if there are challenges, but when and my marriage is for better and worse!]
    page 59 (eBook) "So I try to keep my eyes on the one who knows everything in my heart and trust that he knows what's ultimately the best for me and will bring all things to pass in their time." [Thankful God has my life planned out. I want to stay focused on HIM!]
    Question 1: I don't remember thinking a lot about getting married. When I got engaged and started planning the wedding everything just seemed to come together.
    Question 2: Early on I know I was thinking my marriage and my husband should complete me and make me happy (happily ever after, right?) As the years have passed I am learning that I am the only one that can make me happy. Our marriage can only succeed with Jesus Christ as the head and if we both work at our marriage.
    Question 3: I met Troy through a mutual friend, but it was only after he returned from Marine Corp Basic Training that I really got to know him and knew he was the one.

    1. Yes, Tara, for better AND worse. I liked that, too. So glad you are reading along!