I'm too young to have been married twenty years. And if you are my FB friend, you've seen the pictures this week from our wedding twenty years ago. This is my last mention of it, really it is. But I believe this is worth celebrating!
I rarely blog or post on FB about my relationship with Jay. There's the occasional mention here or there but I don't too often. For a few reasons, but the main one is that I know that everyone's husband is not like mine. I don't want to be perceived as bragging about him.
We had guests, another couple, in our home after we had been married just a few months. After supper, the guys left. The other wife asked me how Jay treated me when no one else was there. Not sure of exactly what she was asking, I replied that it was the same as when anyone else was there. She was amazed that he refilled my tea, cleared my place, and spoke kindly to me. She said those specific things to me. She noticed that he did those things and thought it was because he had an audience. I wish I could describe the look on her face when I insisted that's how he is all the time. Disbelief. She just shook her head, said, "You have no idea how good you've got it." and was very quiet the rest of the evening. A few years later, they divorced. She had lived with verbal and emotional abuse for years.
Jay is an amazing man. He consistently puts my needs and my wants before his own. He serves me daily. He does not complain about what I do or about what I don't do. He does the dishes. He irons better than I do. He is patient with me. From day one in our relationship, he has said that he knows there is a part of me that can only be filled by time with friends. He has always encouraged me to take time for myself, spend time with friends, or Mom and Kelli, and he sees that I come home a better mom and wife. My spirit is refreshed. (this was a much bigger deal when Katie and Mary Margaret were little. It's much easier to do this now.)
He dances with me in the kitchen.
Side note - here's the playlist Mary Margaret put together for our anniversary date this week. It was a hoot! He had moved the rug, table and chairs out of the kitchen so we had a great dance floor.
He has asked the question, "Do you want me to listen or do you want me to fix it?"
He has shown me grace. Like the time I backed into the garage door. Or when I bounced the check the first time he registered to take the CPA exam (he's been balancing our checkbook ever since!). The list goes on and on. He has freely extended forgiveness to me. He has been patient with me when I've struggled with depression and anxiety. He has taken care of me when I've been sick - menengitis, food poisoning and recovering from surgery. He has taught me that the gift we give when we accept others as they are, rather than trying to make them what we think they need to be, is priceless.
He apologizes when he messes up. He says, "I was wrong."
He has never raised his voice at me. And he insists that Katie and Mary Margaret treat me with respect.
He makes me laugh. A lot. A whole lot.
Is he perfect? No. But he is perfect for me.
When I was pregnant with Katie, I bought a children's book.